Memoirs of a Belly Dance Widow: The Glam Life According to My Boyfriend

So my boyfriend Stacy surprised me this morning with this funny little piece he wrote about what it’s like to date a belly dancer. Hopefully you find this just as amusing and insightful as I did. Enjoy!

Sure! I am the average guy. I like Football, Cool Cars, and Action movies, but I found something I love more than all of these things combined, my girlfriend! My life has certainly changed for the better because of her and the dancing is just one of many reasons I find her fascinating.
Who would have thought I would ever be the guy who toted the bag, carried the sword and knew exactly when to retrieve the finger cymbals? Well it is me and I am becoming educated to the many ways and tribulations that occupy the world of a belly dancer. Like any business there is drama, intrigue, failures and success and fortunately I have been there to witness them all. I don’t know the business but I love the fact my girl does. It thrills me to see her excitement and everlasting desire to perform. When I watch her dance I see into her world just a little bit more. Her smile says everything you need to know and it makes me wish I could find the same passion in something I did as well. There are football widows in the world, so I guess it would be natural that a guy could be could be a belly dancers gig bitch every so often. You know your girl is a belly dancer when:
1.      You know the difference between  Bedleh and Beledi
2.      You catch Shimmy on TV and realize you it’s been more than 10 minutes and you missed Sportscenter.
3.      You can actually tell the difference between a Bella and everything else.
4.      You think of a three hour drive to a BD store as just a run to the store
5.      You actually think more bling is a good thing.
6.      You have made a last minute run to Walgreens to buy eyelash glue.
7.      You are starting to learn different middle eastern languages
8.       You hear the word Bhuz and don’t think of bees.
9.      You understand middle eastern restaurants are not just eateries but potential  business
10.     You know what tribal fusion means.
11.     Your girl ask your opinion on performance jewelry and you actually have one!
12.     Your IPOD has at least one of her dance numbers on it.
13.     Out of curiosity you have looked up Dina from Egypt on YouTube
14.     You understand the happiness of her website climbing through a Google search.
15.     You believe in the Gig Fairy
16.     You see that her Facebook friends have names you have no idea how to pronounce
17.     You know a money shower isn’t a game show.
18.     You start to like shakira
19.     Having a TomTom is a necessity
20.     And most of all… You know that Raks Beaver isn’t a reclusive animal from the Amazon.
So there you have it! And would I change a thing? Never!

Comments · 11

  1. hahahahaha, so cute!

    I posted in Bhuz that I could visualise the ‘belly dancers gig bitch’ on a t-shirt, but the ‘Raks Beaver isn’t a reclusive animal from the Amazon’ would make a better one!

    Would love to hear more from your guy :)

  2. You know, maybe we could make Gig Bitch T-shirts and start selling them as a gift for BDers to give their significant others. And the proceeds can go to a good cause. I think we’re onto something here!

    But the one about Raqs Beaver is priceless. He used to call it something that sounded like “roxburger” until I corrected him!

  3. Aziza! Glad you loved it :)

    Roxburger was a gem. I was complaining one day that I loved my Bella with cutouts on the hip, but didn’t know what the appropriate underpinnings might be. Stacy said, “Can’t you just roxburger?”

    Ohhh my!

  4. This was awesome.

    Most of the time from bhuz I feel like myself and my gf are the mirror of you and yours with the photography and just the guy dating a dancer vibe. This really sinks it. He nailed it.


  5. Jeremy,

    Glad you love it. Sometimes when I talk with you on Bhuz, I wonder if parallel universes really do exist!

    On the flip side, I could also write a piece on what it’s like to be with a photographer:

    1. You find that many dancers either inexplicably hate you or show a strange, sudden interest in becoming your BFF. Regardless, it’s because they want cool photos to put on their website.
    2. It’s not a performance/vacation/casual Friday/root canal. It’s a potential photo op!
    3. You are starting to acquire more Frederick’s of Hollywood corsets, ridiculous clubwear, flashy stilettos, pinup girl attire, and other impractical items than normal, everyday clothes. Even if you wear normal, everyday clothes 99% of the time!
    4. The “How I Met My Boyfriend” story changes every time: first, you met on an espionnage mission. Then, at Yale. Then, at the bar.
    5. You laugh at PhotoShop trainwrecks the way most people laugh at Will Ferrell or Dane Cook’s latest comedy flick.
    6. You love your photos because somebody out there sees you in a beautiful way that you often wish you saw yourself.

    That’s it. I’m gonna think of more!

  6. WOW! This one was a RAVING success! Pretty clever, I know how the guy feels :)

    Does my comment win for having a sweet Gravatar? :P

  7. I’m jealous! Whenever I write something, it never gets this many comments. Maybe I should just have Stacy ghostwrite my entire blog from now on :-P

    You definitely win at teh intrawebz for having a cool Gravatar. But why isn’t mine showing up anymore?

  8. Samar, I’m sure he will. Belly Dance Boyfriends are like Military Wives – they’re united by a common set of victories and hardships :)

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